


ActuallyMe

by airinshaw



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, Minor Gabe/Patrick mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 19:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10520265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airinshaw/pseuds/airinshaw
Summary: Originally posted in 2007It was just an experiment. It wasn't like Pete was planning on reading this stuff for pleasure, right? So that made it okay.Otherwise known as "Pete ventures into fandom."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to strangecobwebs for holding my hand all through this one.

Pete could hear them all laughing as he walked up the side of the bus. Fuck. He'd just spent the last hour throwing himself down a hill and now had fucking dish detergent in his eyes. He didn't want a bus full of people - he wanted to be able to see again and to collapse for a few hours.

"Patrick, I want you to suck my cock." Pete stopped with the door just open. Well. Okay. Not what he had expected.

"We can't - not here," and that was definitely Andy. Pete frowned. If they were having an orgy without him he was going to be pissed.

Pete climbed the steps to find a large group gathered around Joe, who had Patrick's laptop open.

"Pete!" Joe yelled as he saw him. "Just in time! Patrick's just about to suck your cock!" Everyone laughed and Pete saw Patrick duck his head and chuckle. What the hell was going on? Finally Andy seemed to take pity on his adrenaline-addled brain.

"We're reading pornfiction," he said gleefully. Pete recognized the Ryan-inspired name for fan fiction that they had all adopted. Pete rolled his eyes and muttered something about going blind, pushing past everyone and into the tiny front bathroom. He pushed the door closed and grinned at his reflection. Slip 'n' slide? Best idea ever.

Bending over the sink and washing the sting out of his eyes (would the detergent foam up more with water? Fuck it...), Pete could still hear Joe and Andy reading. Patrick was on his knees somewhere (he'd obviously missed the bit that explained where) and was unzipping Pete's fly. As he examined the gash on his side where he'd slid over the rock, Pete listened to how Patrick was taking him into his mouth. As he heard the cries for the reading to stop right now ("Ack! Too far!" "Patrick - you pussy." "It's not your mouth they're writing about!"), Pete dropped his hand down to the front of his jeans and pushed without thinking. Then he stopped, shocked.

Oh. Shit.

Pete thought about Patrick's mouth on his dick again and felt his erection twitch. No way. No way.

*

It was just an experiment. It wasn't like Pete was planning on reading this stuff for pleasure, right? So that made it okay. The incident in the bathroom yesterday had clearly been a glitch. His body had been wired and stuff from the adrenaline.

Pete's laptop was open on his bed and he'd managed to find a story that people recommended. If he was going to experiment then he might as well get to read something well-written.

Pete read the story. It wasn't overly long - it took about 15 minutes. When he was done, he laid back and tried not to put his hands down his pants.

He made it about ten seconds.

When Pete finally came (not thinking about the story - no, not at all), he pulled the laptop back to him and looked for another recommendation.

*

_great characterization!_ Pete typed a week and a half later in the Livejournal of someone called DiscoDancer. _i could imagine pete saying everything exactly the way you wrote it. you should write a sequel._

Pete had finally given in and signed up for a Livejournal account. It was actually pretty cool to have a blog that no one knew about. Plus it meant that he could join communities and get fic updates and make comments like everyone else did. But the main reason was that it was really awesome to make updates where no one knew that he was Pete Wentz. The fic-reading was just an added benefit, really.

*

**DiscoDancer:** Thanks for the feedback  
 **ActuallyMe:** oh hey  
 **DiscoDancer:** Saw you were online and thought I'd thank you in person - you're pretty much the only person who thought I didn't write Pete OOC.  
 **ActuallyMe:** they just don't know him well enough. he's not the way he seems in interviews obviously  
 **DiscoDancer:** Exactly.  
 **DiscoDancer:** Can I ask you a question?  
 **ActuallyMe:** sure  
 **DiscoDancer:** Do you not use capitals and stuff because Pete doesn't? Just a question.  
 **ActuallyMe:** im just lazy. i stopped using them years ago. but i do think it's cool that i share that with pete. i like him a lot  
 **DiscoDancer:** Yeah - he's cool. I'm more on the Panic! side of things though.  
 **ActuallyMe:** i haven't read almost any panic fics. i only really read yours because i was told it had a lot of pete/patrick in it. sorry  
 **DiscoDancer:** I get it. I read Brendon/Ryan mainly but I think P/P is too cute to not include.  
 **ActuallyMe:** yeah i can see the brendon/ryan thing. its like practically canon or something.  
...

It was 4am before Pete finally stopped talking to DiscoDancer and went to bed. They had plotted two long fics and a PWP already.

*

Pete glanced up at Patrick over the top of his laptop. Patrick was sitting across from him, messing about with something on his own laptop. Pete looked back down, trying not to stare, but his eyes kept being pulled back to Patrick. Or more specifically, to Patrick's hands. He grinned, making sure his mouth was behind the laptop screen just in case Patrick looked up and wanted to know what was so funny. It was awesome to read a description of Patrick's hands and be able to just look up and stare at them. Ha – no one else in fandom got to do that!

*

_IMHO, Patrick is completely straight._ Pete read on his friends list. _I know we write about him and Pete, and I'd love to believe that there was a chance, but Patrick is just too straight._

The entry was like a kick to Pete's guts. Okay – so he'd been reading and interacting in bandslash for a while, but it just...Patrick? Straight? Of course he knew none of it was real but...

Pete shut down his laptop and almost ran over to Patrick's bus, zipping up his hoodie on the way. Patrick was lounging on one of the sofas watching TV.

“Patrick, are you straight?” Pete practically yelled. Patrick blinked up at him.

“Um...” he said. “Yes?”

Pete sat down heavily. He felt a little like crying. Not that he wanted Patrick for himself or anything, but it would suck hard to know that his favorite pairing could never be canon. The fact that his favorite pairing was him and Patrick didn't mean anything.

“Oh,” he said.

“Why?” Patrick asked. Oh. Yeah – this was the part that Pete hadn't thought through.

“Uh,” Pete started, “Well I'm always talking about my sexuality and I just – wondered? Like – have you ever had a crush on a guy or kissed a guy...” Patrick flushed visibly. Pete's eyes widened. “Have you?”

“Not a crush really,” Patrick said, still blushing, “but I've - you know - with a guy.”

Pete had thought he felt as bad as he could finding out that Patrick was definitely straight but somehow this felt even worse.

“You've kissed a guy? Who!?” he demanded. Who the hell had been kissing his Patrick? 

Patrick swung his legs down so that he was sitting on the sofa rather than lounging. “What the hell does that matter?”

Pete knew that tone on Patrick – it was his I'm-embarrassed-so-getting-annoyed-to-distract-you tone. Pete hadn't known Patrick since he was 15 for nothing. He pointedly stayed quiet, not giving Patrick's annoyance anything to latch on to. Finally he caved.

“Gabe,” Patrick said, deflating.

"Gabe!?" Pete repeated, astonished. He'd at least expected this experimentation of Patrick's to have happened when he was a young, impressionable teenager. Before he'd met Pete, who clearly should have been the source of any bi-curious meanderings on Patrick's part. "When did you make out with _Gabe_?" Pete demanded. Patrick gave him a sharp look.

"That's none of your fucking business, Pete," Patrick said. Pete scowled.

"Well, you clearly aren't straight then," Pete pointed out.

"Yes, I am," Patrick said.

"Really?" Pete asked. "Does making out with dudes equal 'straight' in your head?" The conversation was turning out nothing like he'd expected. A thought then occurred to him. "Did you just make out? You didn't do anything more?" Patrick's stammering told Pete everything he needed to know. "Fucking Gabe! That whore!" he yelled. Patrick lashed out a kick at him.

"Shut the fuck _up_ , Pete," he hissed. "It was just a one-time thing."

"Did you like it?" Pete asked. "Did you get off?" Patrick went redder. "Then you liked it! And if you liked it then it's gay, Patrick. Fuck - are you one of those dudes who thinks it's not gay unless the cock is in _their_ mouth or up _their_ ass?" He paused. "Oh my god! Did Gabe have his cock in your mouth or up your ass?!"

Patrick stood up. "I'm not talking to you about this any more."

Pete watched openmouthed as Patrick stormed off the bus. When he'd come over, he was hoping to find out that Patrick wasn't straight. Now he knew for a fact that he wasn't and was more upset than ever.

Pete went back to his laptop and searched for the first Patrick/Gabe fic he could find and left a scathing flame. It only made him feel slightly better.

*

**ActuallyMe:** so did you read imaginedfool's meta about patrick being straight?  
 **DiscoDancer:** Yeah. It was interesting.  
 **ActuallyMe:** what do you think? do you think patrick is straight?  
 **DiscoDancer:** I don't know. She made some good points. But then there's the way that he looks at Pete sometimes - like in pics and stuff. What about you?  
 **ActuallyMe:** dunno. i think he's totes gay. i think he sleeps with anything with a cock like a big whore.  
 **DiscoDancer:** Dude - harsh. I thought Patrick was your favorite?  
 **ActuallyMe:** maybe. he was but i think i'm changing my mind.  
 **DiscoDancer:** Wow. Says the girl who has obsessed about Patrick from day one  
 **ActuallyMe:** yeah, well. pete deserves better  
 **DiscoDancer:** Blasphemy! Pete isn't that great anyway.  
 **ActuallyMe:** what? yes he is!  
 **DiscoDancer:** Nah. I've heard that he can be annoying at times and is a shitty bowler.  
 **ActuallyMe:** didn't pete kick brendon's ass at bowling that time?  
 **DiscoDancer:** No. Pete likes to hint at that. Don't tell anyone, but Brendon beat him with three strikes in a row.  
 **ActuallyMe:** wtf? how do you know that?  
 **DiscoDancer:** I heard it somewhere.  
 **ActuallyMe:** the fuck you did. tell me how you know  
 **DiscoDancer:** I just read it somewhere, ok? What's the big deal?  
 **ActuallyMe:** you didn't read that anywhere. pete wouldn't tell anyone that and i'd know about it if brendon did  
 **DiscoDancer:** Dude - chill out. What's the problem? It's probably not be true, right?  
 **ActuallyMe:** but it is true! and i want to know how you found out  
 **DiscoDancer:**...Pete? Is that you?  
 **ActuallyMe:** ...brendon?

Pete slammed his laptop closed, heart damn near beating out of his chest. Next to him his cell started vibrating. He grabbed it without looking.

"Brendon?" he asked, heart in his throat.

"Holy fuck, Pete!" Brendon yelled, laughing. "This is fucking cool!"

Pete wanted to cry.

*

Brendon wanted to talk about fandom all the time. Pete hated it. He hated it so much that he waited, legs jumping, daily for Brendon to call. And if he hadn't called by 4pm, Pete called him. It was awful. It was the worst thing that could have happened because now Pete had someone to encourage him. To link him to fics he hadn't read. To send his own links to. To fucking squeal (manfully) about stuff to at 2am!

And Brendon pushed him to write. Patrick kept asking for Pete to send him the stuff he was working on but somehow Pete suspected he might not appreciate a story where he was addicted to sex with Pete.

Brendon thought it was genius.

*

Patrick had kissed Gabe. Gabe and Patrick. Kissing. Again. Probably more. Again. Pete's brain kept trying to make sense of what he had seen a few minutes before. Of what was now playing on repeat behind his eyes.

He threw the bag in his hand across the hotel room, already messy with his and Patrick's crap although they'd only arrived in London yesterday.

"What's up, man?" Patrick asked, coming up behind him. Patrick sneaking. Patrick, who didn't know that Pete had seen him. Patrick, who kissed guys. Patrick, who kissed guys who weren't Pete.

"You kissed Gabe again," Pete said, knowing he sounded angry. Fuck - he was angry!

"Uh..." Patrick edged past Pete and picked up his bag off the floor, placing it carefully on Pete's bed.

"What the fuck are you doing kissing Gabe?" Pete asked, somehow even angrier that Patrick hadn't even tried to deny it. Not that he could. "Where anyone could see you!"

"It wasn't where anyone could see us," Patrick said. "We were in his room!"

"I saw you," Pete pointed out. He moved closer to Patrick and could smell beer on him. "Have you been _drinking_?" Patrick burst out laughing.

"Jesus Christ! Sorry _mom_ ," he said. "And haven't you been drinking too?"

Pete tried to argue back. Patrick had been drinking! And making out with boys! How the hell was he supposed to finish his long, romantic fic when Patrick was making out with other guys?

"That's not the point!" Pete stuttered out. "You're not allowed to kiss guys."

The silence was deafening. Patrick's mouth was open in a perfect "O" of surprise. Pete thought he looked like a highly specialized blow-up doll. He knew the silence wouldn't last long and wished that his superpower was to rewind time and not say stupid things.

"Okay," Patrick said, calmly. Pete tried not to breathe. "So you can kiss whoever you want, guys or girls, but I can't kiss guys?"

_Say no,_ Pete told himself. _No. No. No. No._

"Yes," Pete said.

Damn.

Patrick was shaking his head and kept lifting his hat to run his fingers through his hair. Repeatedly. That was never a good sign. Pete, without thinking, pushed forward and shoved Patrick up against the wall. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips tightly up against Patrick's. He clung on for a few seconds, expecting Patrick to punch him any second. Finally, he pulled away.

"So - I can't kiss dudes but you can kiss me?" Patrick asked. His lips were slightly red. Pete kept looking at them. A lot of things were suddenly making sense in his head.

"Uh..." Pete said. "You can kiss me too? I don't count on the 'guy' list."

Patrick laughed. He laughed! Pete figured that he really shouldn't be mentally composing a Livejournal entry at that moment. _Patrick Is Hot When He's Angry Picspam._

"I really don't understand you dude," Patrick said. "Is this what the whole gay question was about?" He paused. "Are you jealous because I kissed Gabe for, like, 30 seconds?!"

Pete didn't even try to lie this time. "Totally," he said, grinning. He'd kissed Patrick, who hadn't punched him. And maybe - just maybe - the whole fic-reading thing had been about him and Patrick a little. Maybe he had really wanted to kiss Patrick for a while.

"Well -" Patrick said, shaking his head and grinning back, " - it's good to know where I stand on the kissing front."

He pulled Pete back in to kiss him properly.

*

_dear livejournal_

_i had sex with patrick last night. I know no one but Discodancer will believe me but i don't care. i win at otps and wanted to share that somewhere._

_bye_


End file.
